Friday, 13 July 2012
Last month (June 6th) I lost my third grandparent. The first time I lost a grandparent was in 2000. I hadn't turned 10 yet. The second was in 2006 and I was 15 at that time. I'm 21 right now. One of my reasons for this is because I know many people deal with death and it's hard. Many people are unsure how to handle it. These aren't going to be step-by-step in a process, just things I've learned over the years. My cousins (we lost one grandma last month) lost their other grandma this morning. It's hitting hard on them and their parents especially because both grandmothers died in the same hospital and the same ROOM even.
I've been dealing with death since I was in diapers. I know these tips have helped me and some of my friends, and I certainly hope they help you.
Talk to someone - Talking is one of the oldest ways to ease pain. Don't just talk to one person. I've talked to friends, relatives, or even people who just ask if something is wrong. I've even talked to animals before.
Cuddle with your significant other - Sometimes it's just nice to be held. Cuddling, feeling someone alive and warm right there with you. Don't have a significant other? Don't worry! Cuddle with a pet, a pillow, or something similar. I've hugged stuffed animals quite tightly when things have gone bad. Note: the tips for not having a significant other can also apply if your significant other isn't within reach. Phone calls also work.
Spend some time alone - If you're like me, then you might spend some time alone. Er... Rather, if you're like I used to be. If someone dies that I happen to be close to my first instinct is to run from my family. Especially if it was a relative. When my grandmother died I came home, called work, slept, and went off to see my boyfriend. Warning: someone might say something to you that you weren't there for those who needed you. Ignore this. You can't help others if you're hurting because you'll both break.
Got a hobby? Use it! - I love to write, read, listen to music and more. As a writer, I'm almost always carrying around a notebook and at least one or two pens. At my grandmother's viewing I ended up writing. At grandpa's house after the funeral I wrote more. If I don't want to write or interact I put headphones in, turn my iPod on, and read or just do something. Sometimes I zone.
Meditate - This works well for stress in general.
Put it out of your mind - I know, this might sound crazy, but sometimes putting the situation out of your mind works well. It helps if you do some of these others before trying this.
And the most common tip...
CRY - Yes, crying is a big tip. It helps you get out your emotions. Sad? Cry for loss. Mad? Cry out the built-up anger. Happy? Cry tears of joy because the person isn't in pain or for whatever reason you find. Just. Cry. I regret not crying as much as I have, but I don't cry much to begin with.
I hope at least one of these tips helps you. Got a tip you want to share? Comment it or send directly to me. I'll edit this and yes, I'll credit. Something like "*username* recommends ..." or I'll put your name. Just tell me what you want to go by.
Enjoy your Friday 13th everyone.